you're the boy who murdered love

somehow i feel that this is too unbearable for me. i may be a tough cookie out there, but i am weak inside, really. i may look like i dont give a damn, but i do. i tried so hard finding for my mistakes, i tried so hard trynna fix everything back to normal. but you didnt. it was me all the time. you have no idea how badly i wish i could turn back time just not to watch all this shit happening. what's wrong with you?

it's really good to be true though truth hurts, really. but atleast it isn't that pain than lying to me. how i wish you could love me like before and never changed, how i wish you never ask me to leave you. i've checked your old messages you gave to me, it seems like it's just some promises that you never hold to. you said you'll never leave me until you die, you said you love me so much, you said the first time you saw me, you fell in love already, you said you want to be my superman, you said that even if you die, you'll still be loving me, you said you wont let me go, you promised that you love me, and i am yours until your last breath, you said you can't live without me, you said you love me more than anything. hmm

i swear i really miss how we used to be, i miss your 'iloveyou' whispers in my ears, i miss your hugs, i miss holding your hands, i really miss everything about you.

yes, i sound like a fool. it hurts so much when you said you never trusted me all these whiles, you said i look like i never cared about you. but you dont know it hurts more when you make me fall in love with you for the first time, you gave hope to me, you gave love to me, you meant the world to me, you make me happy like never before, but now you said i should just leave you, let you go. yes it hurts, really. i thought that you may be wanting everything like how it used to be,

but i was wrong. you never want anything to be fixed. you said you're not good enough for me, you said you tried hard to be my man. but actually you didnt. you're just making everything even worst.

i dont know what's wrong with you. and what's happening between us. i want you to know that it's really hard to let you go, i really want things to go back normal. i missed you and everything so much.

i love you :(

_______________________________________________________________________

okayyyy, so that's all for you. I've been reallyreallyreallyreally busy lately. life's a bitch, as you can see. and im too weak to handle. and great, now i am sick. oh i hate it when i fall sick. everything seems not good to me and i feel like yelling at everyone.

i feel really dizzy now. and ohh haha i've started my diet. so yes, im on a diet now. i eat only vegetables now at school. luckily my two bestfriends are willing to accompany me with eating vegies too! it's been three days now since i started, no more yummy food, no more rice. hope that im not giving up any time soon. haha wondering why am i dieting? i am fat, really T^T

that will be all. i've nothing much to talk about, though i've been busy juggling with many stuffs lately. im off to take my medicines now, and go to bed. Ciao people!